Using What Works To Help What Doesn't
When I was a dance major in college, part of our senior thesis included hiring a professional choreographer to set a solo for us to perform. For my solo, I reached out to a brilliant woman who was and is one of my favorite choreographers and artists, Monica Bill Barnes, and she graciously said yes!
I had been completely in awe of her show I’d seen the year prior and she agreed to let me perform one of her solos from it: a witty, beautiful, awkward, and heartbreakingly human piece set to an emotive section of Bach’s Cello Suite #2. I only had 3 rehearsals with her: 2 for learning, and 1 for cleaning.
Our last rehearsal together was a month or two before the performance, meaning I wouldn’t be seeing her again, but I would still have time to continue rehearsing and refining the piece without her. So one of the last things we did together was talk through which parts felt really solid, and which parts weren’t quite there yet. In addition to giving me some tips on how to work on some specific sections, she gave me one main overall note that I’ve carried with me since:
She told me to spend some time figuring out what was working about the parts that felt good: why they were working, why they seemed to make sense, and what felt good about them. Then, she said, take that information into the parts that AREN’T working yet. How could I infuse some of what came easily into what I hadn’t quite cracked? Could I use what was working to help make sense of what wasn’t?
I’ve noticed myself come back to this again and again as a helpful tool when I find myself stumped or stuck:
I kept feeling awkward and stiff when trying to promote my YSD course, but I was having fun making playlists for my weekly classes, so I decided to make a YSD-inspired playlist and share that! Although it wasn’t the most DIRECT marketing tactic, it got me out of my head and helped me get back to feeling more authentic.
I had a friend who was happy in his romantic relationship, but just didn’t feel 100% sure about it. I asked him what relationships DID he feel sure about and could he think about what helped him feel secure in them? He couldn’t think of ANY relationships he felt 100% certain about, which was good information! He realized maybe he could give himself and his partner a break and stop expecting that ONE relationship to help him all of a sudden feel certain.
What’s working well in your life or a specific situation? Why is it working? Or why do you FEEL like it’s working (*wink*)? What’s your struggle or challenge? And are there elements from the former that might be useful in the latter? Even if it’s not a direct 1-1 translation, I always find it a helpful way to shake up the way I’m looking at something.
This thought experiment has also helped me come to two big perspective shifts recently - one about how we relate to our physical bodies, and one that came from watching the FIFA Women’s World Cup. I’ll share those with you all another time. Stay tuned. In the meantime, let me know how this lands for you!
In Love,
Lucy
P.S. Just for fun… I don’t have a digital copy of my actual senior solo performance, but I did find a shaky, low-quality video of the last dress rehearsal before opening night. It doesn’t quite do the work justice, but if you have any interest in modern dance, this is for you!