Celebrating Women In Their Power
Recently, I wrote about a piece of advice I learned in college: using the information from something that’s working to help something that isn’t. Today, I’m bringing an example of how that practice showed up in a big way for me recently.
It came while I was watching the FIFA Women’s World Cup. Watching women athletes compete has always been an emotional experience for me, so I wasn’t surprised when I found myself crying over the match between the US and the Netherlands.
The emotion doesn’t come from being invested in a particular outcome, team, player, or even sport, but just from watching these women perform. The incredible amount of strength, energy, intelligence, heart, and POWER that they channel into fighting for what they want is awe-inspiring to witness, at least for me. They are so fully in their bodies that when they score, lose, or get frustrated, we as fans watch them EXPRESS that emotion physically with screams, jumps, slides, air punches, tears, and dog-piles. My story is that in those moments, they aren’t thinking about what they look like, they are just feeling and being moved by the feeling. What a powerful example of shakti! (A recent favorite of mine was the moment that 18 year-old Anastasija Zolotic won the gold in taekwondo at the 2020 Olympics. Fast forward to 2:50 and hear her shriek at the top of her lungs when the bell rings. It gets me every time.)
Every time they are out there, those athletes are putting 100% of themselves into their sport, knowing that they could get hurt, make mistakes, or end up losing anyway. And I find myself so moved by it every time.
This is the part where I wish I could tell you that I’ve always felt this way about watching any and all women - not just athletes - put themselves out there, accomplish something, and/or receive accolades. But since we’re in the business here of being honest, like a lot of other women, that just hasn’t been true for me.
Cut to: A few months ago when I watched a friend of mine go viral. She gained over 100k followers in 48 hours just months after deciding to change careers and become a life coach and, despite all my desire to be a “good” feminist, yogi, and friend, the main emotions I felt were judgment and jealousy. I watched my thoughts disregard all the hard work she had put in, and focus on her faults and excuses in a bleak attempt to make myself feel better. Obviously, it was cold comfort, because in the end I just felt shitty for not feeling happy for my friend. She had been putting herself out there consistently for months, and she was getting what she had been working toward.
Cut to: Watching women in my life start businesses, buy homes, put themselves out there, pour their heart and soul into projects, accomplish major milestones, start families, and while yes, a good percentage of me is so happy for and proud of them, there is always some part of me that holds back. Because on some level, after all this time, some part of me believes that their win is my loss. Some part of me is too busy feeling sorry for myself to really show up and celebrate them. And again, it always feels shitty because I want to be a “better” friend and person than that. We talk a lot in this community about the difference between a mental understanding and a direct realization or knowing. I *knew* that none of this was zero sum, but my body hadn’t gotten the memo yet.
So as I sat there crying happy tears because I was so full of admiration for the power of these soccer players I’d never met, I realized that maybe this was an opportunity to use what was working to help what wasn’t. I was able to directly touch how good it felt to have overwhelming happiness and support for other people and their bravery. In that moment, I was able to take an internal snapshot (a somatic reference point *wink*) of the feeling of cheering someone on 100%, seemingly without my wounded ego in the way. Since that moment, I’ve practiced being on Instagram as if I’m watching the World Cup. It feels silly to write it, but it’s been so helpful! And holding admiration, excitement, and gratitude for the beauty and power I get to witness in the women and people of all genders around me feels a hell of a lot better than holding judgment and resentment. Even though I’ve “known” that for years, it seems some part of me now actually *KNOWS* it, ya know? At least in this moment, I do.
Here’s to cheering each other on.
In Love,
Lucy