A Lesson In Trust
I wanted to take some time to share my experience of leading my first YSD course, and I will do my best. But those of you that have taken the course know how difficult it can be to describe what it’s like. And I’m noticing that - in so many ways, including this one - experiencing this course as a facilitator is quite similar to experiencing it as a student.
It was wild and surprising and also very comfortable. Challenging in so many deep ways, and somehow also effortless. By far the most rewarding piece was just watching these women experience this work. Watching their growth, their effort, and the way they continued to show up for and with themselves became a touching affirmation of my own experience in this work.
In the best of moments, it felt like the ultimate experience of “being done”. In the hardest moments, it put me back in my practice. Throughout all of it, I was filled with immense gratitude for all the hard work that allowed me to be present for it, and for the trust I felt from Susan and these brave women to hold this space and share these teachings.
At points throughout the 6 weeks, each of them made a comment about the inquiry-based teaching style that I’ve adopted through my time with Susan. It’s likely this is not new information for you, but for the sake of clarity: I say inquiry-based teaching in the sense that all of it is up for questioning. I didn’t expect these women to take my word or Susan’s word for any of it. The idea is for them to hold all of the information loosely (soft brain ;) ) and to test it out for themselves. If it resonates, great! If not, great!
I think for the first time, I was truly overwhelmed by the beauty and the maturity in sharing and receiving information in this way. When someone presents a teaching to me with this context, I feel trusted. What I hear is “I trust you to take in this information - or not - in whatever way makes the most sense for you right now.”
The students shared that they kept noticing how much they wanted to believe an idea, or not believe it, or cling to it, or reject it, and then reminding themselves that this is all just for them to take in and sit with. Not only is this such a natural human tendency, but in my experience, it’s seemingly rare to be in spaces or relationships where we get to relate to other people and to information in this way - in a way that feels free. (How odd that it can feel so odd to feel so trusted.) So just like anything else, it takes practice.
Slowly, slowly, I notice that the more I’ve practiced it in YSD and in this community, the easier it gets to carry it with me out into the world. It gets a little easier to hold everything just a tiny bit more loosely, to trust myself to take care of myself, and to trust others to take care of themselves.
May it be for the benefit of all beings.
In Love,
Lucy